Infertility In Relationships And How Couples Therapy Can Help
Struggling with fertility is a painful experience, especially when it creates strain on your relationship. From emotional stress to financial challenges, infertility is a lot to deal with. Knowing when to ask for help is an important step to take. You don’t have to go through this alone. Read below what a few of our counselors had to say about their experience working with couples that have struggled with infertility.
How does infertility impact a relationship or marriage?
“Infertility can be incredibly heartbreaking. When intimacy becomes pressurized and regimented, it can lose the connection and spontaneity it once held. When it feels like your body is failing you, shame, grief, disappointment, and fear can begin to hijack everyday interactions.” – Jasmine Payne, LPC
“There are the emotional and identity stressors that many couples face when their primary life goal of parenthood no longer seems possible. Sometimes there are emotional costs as an individual or both partners deal with a sense of betrayal from their bodies, perhaps a sense of isolation from others who are embarking on parenthood seemingly with ease. There are financial impacts that can result in years of debt or the loss of financial resources originally intended for other goals (housing, retirement, education).” – Jes Corey, LPC
“There is the emotional toll which each partner can experience and react to differently, and that can be layered with the physical, logistical, financial, and relational impacts.” – Kate Shepard, LMSW
What can couples do to support each other through this time?
“I’ve worked with several couples navigating infertility, and often the most important part of therapy is creating space for both the present pain and the grief tied to the imagined future that may not unfold as expected. Couples can become disconnected when each person copes differently, especially when one partner wants to talk and the other withdraws.” – Jasmine Payne, LPC
“Ensuring that we provide ourselves space and time to navigate profound feelings of grief, inadequacy, anxiety as collaborative partners is essential. Couples will want to work towards holding space for each other and to ensure that their relationship has other anchors to keep them grounded in each other. Sometimes that’s ensuring they take breaks if they need to, that they spend time together without focusing on fertility, holding space for the emotions, and perhaps finding meaning in the ways in which this difficult journey may help them grow closer.” – Jes Corey, LPC
“My goal is to have partners see the parts of their journey that they share and the parts that they experience separately. How can they support each other in the moments that are hard? How can they find unexpected moments of joy, humor, and connection? How can they give their journey towards parenthood the space it needs while still celebrating the many wonderful parts of their relationship that coexist with it?” – Kate Shepard, LMSW
No matter where you are in your journey, remember you are not alone. Resources are always available to help you and your partner. If you’d like to learn more about our counselors and how they can help, reach out to our intake coordinator today.
